Say jokes
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
Me: What did the twin say to the other twin?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: I'll fall with you.
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
What did the police say on the TV during 9/11?
"Call 911!"
Memes
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?
"Some ting wong."
What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂
I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
What did the bunger say to the bunger? Bunger.
Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.