Say jokes
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
Boy: *scares girl*
Girl: "Gosh, you scared me, Jesus!"
Jesus: *Arrives out of nowhere and said, "What is it, human? I got work to do."*
Girl: What work?
Jesus: "Coming out of nowhere when people say 'Jesus.'"
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.
My name says it all.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
What did the ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean? Answer: Nothing, they just waved.
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
What does the Fox say?
Fraka - kaka - kaka - kow.
What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasuuubi!"