Say jokes

What did the cookie say to the milk?

What’s up duud?

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"

I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.

What did Scorpion say to the ugly person?

"STAY OVER THERE!"

Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!

You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say, "Goodbye."

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"

Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"

A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.

A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"

My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑

Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

What did the bomber say to the jet?

"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."

*WAIT NO-*

What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."

Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.

What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."

They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.

What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?

Nothing, he doesn't have any.

If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."

To people who say that depression hits hard...

The car begs to disagree.