Say jokes
What do Christians and gays have in common?
They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
What did the atom say to the positive in math class? "We could make a positive number!"
What did kings say when they were made king? Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!
Just saying this, but I hate how many little kids there are on this site, and when they post, they have the worst posts about "sex", so I'm just saying how they act immature.
What did the tree say to the wind?
Leaf me alone.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."
"Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"
Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"
The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."
"What the FU***** SH**"
Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.
What did the plug hole say to the plug? "We are so in sync."
What did death say during a helicopter crash?
KOBE!
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."