Say jokes

What did the cookie say to the milk?

What’s up duud?

If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!

A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.

A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"

What did the robber say to the clock?

Hands up!

You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say, "Goodbye."

I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"

Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"

Never say to an orphan, "Bye buddy, hope you find your dad!"

What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?

"Meoooow!"

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"

My mom and I went to a bank. Hard to say I never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks."

LOL

What did the adopted poker player say?

"Will you raise me?"

They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.

What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?

Nothing, he doesn't have any.

Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...

WAITTTT WHATTT

Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.

What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."