Sarcasm jokes

One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.

You don't need brains to be a Boss.

When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.

To the guy who stole my depression medication,

I hope you're happy.

You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉

They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!

It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.

Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"

I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.

Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.

If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.

Someone telling a joke:

Boy: "My parents are dead."

Girl: "My grandad is too."

Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"

Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"

"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."

People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.

"Hey, how do I look?"

"With your eyes, Joe."

I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.

Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!

Mom: Exactly.

Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.

Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.

Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!

Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??