I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.
My friend said this to me: Were you born on a high way because thats where most accidents happen :(
What's one advantage of being an orphan? Nobody can make it mama jokes about you.🌚
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!
You don't need brains to be a Boss.
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."
I got kicked out of flight school, so I decided to learn from the experienced pilots (Isis).
A man was on the street and went up to a kid where rags the man asked "hey are you a orphan?" .The kid said "yea what gave me away?" the man said "your parents."
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.
I should probably stop making emo jokes.
They just don't seem to cut it anymore.
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
wanna hear a mean joke? my life
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
