Sarcasm

Sarcasm jokes

Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"

Priest

When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"

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    Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.

    I should probably stop making emo jokes.

    They just don't seem to cut it anymore.

    My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.

    BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.

    I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."

    In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.

    Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?

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    • "I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

    "Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."

    I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

    Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.

    I said, "a smile."

    They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.

    My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.

    Going to school is mandatory in this country.

    Can you guess my plan?

    A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.

    One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.

    He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

    The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

    When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."