Santa jokes
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
To spite Santa and Greta Thunberg, I'm burning the coal I got for Christmas.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
Why is Santa make-believe?
Because he is fake!
What did Santa say to the rain? Go away!
Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
"You gotta bleed before you teeth."
- Santa Claus
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
Why was Santa Santa?
Because it was Santa! Hahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂
What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl?
HO, HO, HO!
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.