Santa jokes
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
"You gotta bleed before you teeth."
- Santa Claus
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
Why was Santa Santa?
Because it was Santa! Hahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂
What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl?
HO, HO, HO!
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
If the Grinch was an average white thotty b.... girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6LmcrJq6oo
If the Grinch was an average black girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYzLo8vjSqI&has_verified=1