My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"
Santa Claus walks up to three little girls and says, "Ho, ho, ho!"
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?
Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
What car do elves drive?
Toy-yodas.
How did Santa fit down the chimney?
He buttered it.
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
