Santa

Santa jokes

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So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)

To start, I'm a big fella in size.

I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.

My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."

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    • When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."

    What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?

    Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.

  • 0

    • Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"

    Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"

    Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."

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    • Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?

    Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.

  • 1

    • What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.

    How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.

    How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.

    What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"

  • 1

    • Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?

    A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!

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