There's a white guys, black guy, and Santa clause. They get a hotel room. White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and say put down my money or ill cut off your weiner. He gets scared and jumps out the window. Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says put down my money or ill cut off you're weiner. He gets scared and jumps out the window. Santa clause goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, put down my money or ill cut off you're weiner. Santa clause looks at the ghost and says I'm the ghost of Christmas past you touch my dick ill kick your ass!!!
My Friend- Why does Santa look like that? My 15 Year Old Friend- He has secateurs cancer... Me- I heard its cause he comes once a year. *-Everyone Looks at me-*
why is santa always a bich calling ppl names like hoe hoe hoe
Little Johnny walked to his parents room, they were having sex and Little Johnny didn’t know what that was soo, he said “What are y’all doing?” The parents replied “Umm, r-rapping presents!” . Little Johnny said “ok.” and then left. In the morning Little Johnny opened his presents, his parents said “This one is from Santa!” Little Johnny said “No it’s not, y’all said y’all were rapping the presents.” The parents said “Ohh fuck” Little Johnny replied “What mommy and daddy?” They replied “Oh nothing!” “Oh ok.” Little Johnny said. The mom whispered in the dads ears “At least he doesn’t know the truth.” Little Johnny said “What truth.”
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed? Time to hit the sack!!!!
Who is Santa's favorite singer? Elf-is-Presley
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
What did Santa Clause get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
Santa claws have a child a bike and a football the child wasn’t happy why
He had no legs
Who gave jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa clause!
if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
Why is Santa so fat? He only comes once a year
One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. 'Why are you early, it is not even christmas?' - ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Lets worry about you instead' says Santa. What is the problem my friend?' - I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house.' Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i'll give it to you-' Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!
Me:Sister STOP STEALING MY STUFF OR I WILL MAKE U FEEL BAD Sister:No I wont stop Me:Fine im telling the world what u did Sister:What you will see when i post it Sister:WHY DID U TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD ME:BECAUSE U DON ́T HAVE A LIFE
A week before Christmas my wife left me, she said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore. On Christmas eve Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "all I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world." On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
