Santa jokes
What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.
Why can’t Santa have kids?
He only cums once a year.
I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!
Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!
I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
Why is Santa so happy? He knows where all the naughty girls and ho ho hos live.
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."
Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.
White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"