Sand jokes
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
Lovely playing in the sand
What did the ocean say when it saw the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
Why is the sand always pissed off?
Because the sand never waves back!
Yo mama so fat, she got more rolls than the sand dunes.
How does the sea say hello?
It WAVES you.
SEA what I did there?
I'm SHORE you saw it.
Don't be SALTY!
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."
Donald Trump has too much sand in his vagina.
When pigs went to the desert, they turned into bacon.
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?
Because she can’t hear the sea.