Sand Jokes

Two pedophiles are on a beach.

One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"

Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."

She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."

Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"

How does the sea say hello?

It WAVES you.

SEA what I did there?

I'm SHORE you saw it.

Don't be SALTY!

What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?

A ham sandwich.

Why is the beach friendly?

Because it waves!

The image is a cartoon strip showing a woman on a beach, first forming the word "HELP" with stones on the sand, and then changing it to "HELP ME AND I WILL REMOVE MY BRA", in the last panel a plane is approaching the island.

Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

What do you call an ass on a beach?

Sandy cheeks!

Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.

Why did the rapper go to the beach?

To catch some sick WAVES of applause!

Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.

Why did the rapper go to the beach?

To drop some QUICKSAND BARS.

I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.

Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.

Would you like a piece of Africa?

Would you like to know why? Because it's a dessert/desert.

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.

The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."

When pigs went to the desert, they turned into bacon.

What would good be if it was a place?

It would be a desert because it had too many droughts!

Yo mama so fat, she got more rolls than the sand dunes.

I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.

Wash It Away - By Bradley Lewis(watersharky) and Ben Lewis and Watersharky Music Productions - Why does it always feel like I'm the one that's had a bad day?

Whether I'm stuck in traffic or showing up to work late,

Oh this 9 to 5 feels like 9 to forever been working all week

For a jerk that thinks they can say whatever they want to me

I'll just bite my tongue for a couple more days

Soon I'll be in that island sun surfing those waves

I need the beach I love the ocean

Put my feet in the sand

Watch the earth in motion

Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day

Take it to the shoreside and wash it away

Oh yeah

You gotta wash it away