What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad
( say it outloud if you don't get it )
it’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
What is big and long and hard? A cucumber!
How do you make any salad int a Cesar salad? you stab it 23 times.
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?
The salad could be dressing!
knock knock lettuce in
Its caesar salad
Cesar: What was that good salad called? Servant: Ceaser, Cesar. Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like? Servant: Hail, Cesar Cesar: yes I know Hail Cesar but I need to know what the weathers like! Servant: Well its hail, Cesar. Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
Caesar salad jack and jill little johny koala Zebra monkey vegetables bus baa bus
If you think the Guy Calling you fat is offensive Try Salad 🥗
I went to the super market one day and i saw a cEAsor salad for 69 dollars next minute someone comes up to me and says CAESOR DEEZ NUTZ
What was the epileptic chef’s house special? Seizure salad.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Other jokes:
1. Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.
2. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing?
3. How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it.
4. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells!
5. How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.
6. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
7. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball.
8. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.
Why was the chef embarrassed. He saw the salad dressing.
Your at a buffet, you think your hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of your self, you get stuck looking at sides in the buffet, a roly poly gal you see in corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end, you go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slamed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she's is tenderizing you for dinner.
the reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
Green beans potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me
Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad) and to make the best salad you stab it 23 times until the CAESAR salad, Romaine Salad, is fresh.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore"
