Said jokes

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.

I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"

"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"

"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."

And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"

My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:

I got it from her when I was born.

Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"

The last thing I said to my dog was,

"Play dead."

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."

Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:

Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂

I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"