Said jokes

A king ordered to execute a gay man.

The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."

Goofy ahh grandpa fell down the stairs, and he said, "Damn!"

Yo mama so ugly that when the Kool-Aid Man busted through her wall, he said, “Oh no!”

Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.

The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.

She got on the scale, said "to be continued."

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"

Your mama is so stupid.

Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.