Said Jokes

I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"

I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.

There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"

My friend asked for something dark and creamy. I said..... "GU KHA".

One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.

I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.

Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."

My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?

Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

A king ordered to execute a gay man.

The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."

A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"

Yo mama so ugly that when the Kool-Aid Man busted through her wall, he said, “Oh no!”

Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.