Said jokes

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.

A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"

Dad said, "It is, Son."

Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA

Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.

My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.

You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.

What did the tomato say to the tomato ketchup?

Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"

A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.

When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his mom said, "Ven bakac."

I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.

"I want to know who this fake me is! I haven't even posted or commented on anything bad or said a curse. I am very kindly asking you to stop."