Said jokes

My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.

Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.

Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"

"Hi, plane," said the tower.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.

Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.

"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.

3 Years Later,

"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

What did the eagle say to Obama?

He said: "Joe Mama!"

I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"

She got on the scale, said "to be continued."

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"

I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...

Because you already look ugly.