Said jokes

What did the eagle say to Obama?

He said: "Joe Mama!"

I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"

She got on the scale, said "to be continued."

Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"

My friend: You're ugly.

The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.

said (DYM 107)

One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his mom said, "Ven bakac."

"I want to know who this fake me is! I haven't even posted or commented on anything bad or said a curse. I am very kindly asking you to stop."

Why isn't Hilary Duff interested in education?

A. She said that she was not interested in learning about anything that was so yesterday.

I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."