Said jokes

My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.

Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.

A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.

Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."

I saw your license. It said you're 15.

I checked your face. It says you're 50.

I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.

She got on the scale, said "to be continued."

Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

What did the eagle say to Obama?

He said: "Joe Mama!"

I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.

Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA

I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”