Said jokes

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.

Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.

"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.

3 Years Later,

"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."

"Hi, plane," said the tower.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

What did the eagle say to Obama?

He said: "Joe Mama!"

I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"

My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.

I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."

Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.