Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.
What do Americans call high school?
A shooting range.
I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.
Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.
What do you call people who jumped in the dam?
A dam fool.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
What do Americans call high school?
Shooting range.
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
Somebody shouts "Fire!"
Man 1: Get the children out!
Man 2: F*** the children!
Man 3: We don't have time!
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
What could've the Towers done to not start 9/11?
Call 911.
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
