The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.
I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?
Ground Beef.
Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?
A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”
Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
What's big and yellow and can't swim? A bus filled with children.
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.
What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.
What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
Why did the boy not cross the road?
Because he was on thin ice.
