Safety jokes
What’s yellow and can’t swim??
A school bus with elementary kids.
Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
😷 👕 👖 Stay safe in Quarantine.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out of the classroom, the only fire they saw was out of a gun.
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
A husband and wife are crossing the street. The husband is explaining to the wife why you should always look both ways before crossing the street.
Man: "So you see, Dolly? You should always look both ways before crossing the street."
The man turns and looks to his wife, but she is not there!
Man: "Dolly? Dolly!"
The man looks around and sees Dolly laying dead on the street.
Man: "Dolly!"
What's something yellow and cannot swim?
A bus full of children.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.
I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.