Safety jokes
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out of the classroom, the only fire they saw was out of a gun.
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
A husband and wife are crossing the street. The husband is explaining to the wife why you should always look both ways before crossing the street.
Man: "So you see, Dolly? You should always look both ways before crossing the street."
The man turns and looks to his wife, but she is not there!
Man: "Dolly? Dolly!"
The man looks around and sees Dolly laying dead on the street.
Man: "Dolly!"
What's something yellow and cannot swim?
A bus full of children.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.
I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.