Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.
I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq they asked if I could drive the car
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
what is the difference between emo grass and normal grass emo grass cuts itself
My aunt's star sign was cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab
Have you ever heard of emo pizza?
It cuts itself!
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.
I'm sick of crying; tired of trying; yes, I'm still smiling; inside I'm dying.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
