I got sad today.
Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
What do you call a sad rapper?
A SOB-HOP ARTIST.
Don't commit suicide, that would make DJUNGELSKOG sad!
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
Why was the math book sad at the rap battle?
Because it couldn't count the bars!
What were the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
