Run

Run Jokes

Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?" Mommy xays, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play" A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter. Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so l she l took the sissors and cut them off."

A Chinese moves to the USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai.

He bought a home on a small piece of land.

The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy.

He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard, chasing about 10 hens.

Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.

Next day he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees him urinate into a glass and then drink it.

Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.

A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the neighbour leading a bull down the drive way and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.

The American dude can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, "Jeez man, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you."

The Chinese man is very taken back and says, "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I am doing, these are American Customs."

'What do you mean' says the neighbor, "Those aren't American customs."

"Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me" replied the Chinese man. "He say to become true American, I must learn to chase chicks get piss drunk and listen to bull-shit!"

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Im going to do a song thats called Falling by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes

My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down

So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??😂

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A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says "Oh what chest!" " That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says "Oh what legs!'' He says "That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says "Why were you running?" She said I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."

people: you're ugly me: ok people: I hate you me: cool IDC people: you're annoying me: good for me people: BTS is dumb me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run

mother got shot, damn father got shot, damn sister got shot, damn brother got shot, damn auntie running away with a shot gun

NINA YOU BETTER RUN TO HELL YOUR GOING THERE ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DONT BE MEAN TO ALEX!!!!!!!!!!! HE IS SWEET KIND LOVING AND PROTECTIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your snorting cociane with your Buddys your eyes are closed feeling the bliss of drugs when suddenly something wet touches your nostril your buddy mark stuck his PENIS in your face. you look up at mark and he says "I'm sorry" and runs away his pants still down.

Man 1: Hey I heard you survived a school shooting, what was it like? Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere, I was only able to get a few of them.

I orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey bum bum bum got a family