Roast jokes
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
Your birth certificate is a complaint to the condom factory.
You're like a cloud. When you go away, it's a beautiful day.
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.
And your IQ is 5.
Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
You're the reason the middle finger got created.
My hair strainer is hotter than you.
I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."
"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
Bully: You are ugly.
Me: You are so fat, you are the Call of Duty map.
Me: Your ugly...
Person: I'm not your mirror...
Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p
Deez nuts, ahaha!
Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.
You have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone book!
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
Yo mama so fat she broke the stairway to heaven...
Bully: Agh, you're ugly!
Me: Said your mom when you were born.
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.