Roast jokes
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.
"You must be why they invented the word ugly."
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
Joe mama so fat, she could not walk the stairs of heaven.
Credits: to my friend.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.
When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.
You have gaps in your teeth, looks like your tongue is in jail.
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
Your birth certificate is a complaint to the condom factory.
You're like a cloud. When you go away, it's a beautiful day.
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.
And your IQ is 5.
Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
You're the reason the middle finger got created.
My hair strainer is hotter than you.
I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."
"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
Bully: You are ugly.
Me: You are so fat, you are the Call of Duty map.