Roast jokes

Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!

Do not roast. *sigh in depression*

School sucks, just like you, get roasted nerds.

Do not sort... that's bad... *sigh in depression*

"Where are you? [Because you] make me wanna throw up every time I see you."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.

If you tell me to get a life, you're telling me to get a life better than yours!

POV: You're at school and you just enjoy your day.

Now once you found a bully and he said, "I will burn you in fire," then you just punched him out of the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home, but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage, but you took off his clothes and even his underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after.

Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!

I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...

I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.

Me: You stupid. Guy: You straight. Me: Sorry, I'm not a mirror.

Ex: baby i miss u.

Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.

Ex: who died?!

Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.

I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"

There's something on your chin... no, the 3rd one.

I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.

You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

If you're going to be a smart ass, you have to be smart, or you're just an ass.