Roast Jokes

You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.

I got a bowl of rice that you're formed like, an ice cube.

Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.

Your momma is so fat, when she got in the Pacific, she became the Pacific Ocean.

Your mama's so ugly, she got everything for free.

Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.

You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.

Me: And I don't speak idiot language.

I have to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.

You signed up for football, but you're no good.

You have thin feet that people think you were a duck.

Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.

That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."

Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.

You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.

Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.