Roast jokes
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!
Yo mama's so fat, she thinks the buffet is the starter plate.
Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!
Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
Roses are red, violets are blue, it's really no wonder your mama left you!
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.
Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
Me and your mom in the bed.
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.