Cardi B jokes

Your favorite music artist is Cardi B? I prefer Cardi A+ if I'm being honest.

Cardi B has very long nails.

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.

This is so sad. Alexa, play WAP.

Somebody told me to type "Up" by Cardi B. So here it goes:

Up

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.

Now from the top, make it drop, that's a WAP, that's a WAP.

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!

Two friends who've been bros for forever see each other in Wal-Mart in the card section. The first guy asks what he got his wife for her birthday. The second guy tells him he got her a Maserati and a card. The first guy tells him he got his wife a card and a dildo for her birthday.

The second guy asks why he got his wife a dildo for her birthday. The first guy says, "If she doesn't like the card I got her, then she can go fuck herself!"

How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?

What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?

"I'd hit that."