Risk

Risk jokes

If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.

Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.

My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.

My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

Me: Yea-

My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.