Risk jokes

How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?

You’re dead if the rubber breaks.

I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.

Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.

Balls deep.

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

What are a group of depressed people called?

A suicide squad.

If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.

Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.

My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

Me: Yea-

My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.

Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.

Weirdo: I'm too high to die!

Me: You'll just fall harder.

Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.

Why did the orphan become famous? Because they said, "Go big or go home!"

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."