Risk jokes

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."

If at first you don't succeed,

Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.

Seat belts are like the condom for cars.

What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?

One baby in 10 trucks.

When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?

2001/9/11.

You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!

Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.

A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.

Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.