Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
Risk Jokes
The mirror says: "If you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck."
The Magic Jewel says: "If you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck."
The condom just sitting there laughing.
I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.
How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?
Tie the bungee cord around his neck.
If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.
You were born on a road. That's where most accidents happen.
You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.
We had sex afterwards even though she lost.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.
Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?
Asking for a friend.
