You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.
We had sex afterwards even though she lost.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.
Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?
Asking for a friend.
I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
