I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride she says BOO! What kind of sick fuck does that?
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it
How do you ride two bikes at once? You ride them in tandem!
If wishes were horses Beggars would ride: If turnips were watches I would wear one by my side. And if if’s and an’s were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
can u go as a horse for halloween? well if u do i cant wait to ride u
I asked my dad, "are we there yet" and he told me "don't worry son it will be a short ride"
I would have loved to ride the titanic at least once ;)
iykyk
Why couldn’t the midget ride the bus?
He can’t slam dunk his bus fare!
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle? I’m bone to be wild!
Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals.
Hey any riding with biden fans out their? I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so of one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 an a half help me please
Micheal Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture..Tonya says.."I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3 year olds"
Why couldn’t the bike stand up?—Because it was “two tired”!
Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.
what's a turtles favorite thrill ride shell shock
you're forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do? I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through. The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark. Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair. That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect. Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side. Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know. But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion
