Ride jokes
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.
Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber?
I had to get from your forehead to your big ass nose.
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
I love riding my bike 🚲.
Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"
“Yes," replied Hodja.
“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.
“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"
“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."
i was on this last night i was going super fast omg :>
Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony. He opened up a pasta shop and made some macaroni.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.
What kind of bike do women ride?
A menstrual cycle.
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
Are you a bull, because I wanna ride you like a rodeo.
Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?
Answer: 16
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
I gave her a lift back to her crib because her car wouldn’t start.
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.
When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"