Ride jokes
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.
Why can’t Kurt Cobain ride in the passenger seat?
Because he doesn’t like when someone calls "shotgun!"
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
Why couldn’t the midget ride the bus?
He can’t slam dunk his bus fare!
Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to ride Ponyboy Curtis.
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
Why can’t orphans ride bikes?
Because they don’t have parent supervision.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.
The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"
Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Get in the car.
What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?
I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.