Restaurant jokes

Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.

Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”

Person #2: “No, you can have it.”

Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”

Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.

Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”

Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.

What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?

They don’t cook because they love eating out.

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.

Q: What do women and KFC have in common?

A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.

Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.

Can emos eat a Happy Meal?

Pizza Hut.

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?

One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.

What do you call a steak that tastes bad?

A MISsteak.

What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me! 😂

One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

"What part of the dog did you get?"

Wood fired pizza?

How's pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O

Please drop a like.

Why are french fries rude?

Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).

What do you call it when Panera is over?

Panera end.

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.