Restaurant

Restaurant jokes

Chili

Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.

Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”

Person #2: “No, you can have it.”

Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”

Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.

Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”

Memes

Pizza

Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.

Priest

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.

Woman

Q: What do women and KFC have in common?

A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

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  • Bar

    An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

    Fat People

    When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.

    CPR

    I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.

    Ham Sandwich

    A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

    McDonald's

    What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?

    One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.

    Hot Dog

    One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

    "What part of the dog did you get?"