Restaurant jokes
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to go to KFC.
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
Can emos eat a Happy Meal?
I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.
Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.
Pizza Hut.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?
One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.