Restaurant jokes
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
Do you like Wendy's when these nuts hit your face?
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
Curry in a hurry.
Say "I hop in this:".
I made you eat your peas! 🤦
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Quinn pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper 🍆🍔.
You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.
I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
What is Juice WRLD's favorite restaurant?
Little Seizures.
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
I mean I'd tell you a joke about the pizza I ate, but it's just too cheesy.
An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.
"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.
One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!!
Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!
So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."
I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'
I don't need this shit!
Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.