Restaurant jokes

Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?

A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.

Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.

I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.

what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?

Panera dead.

A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bartender here?"

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.

A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"

A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:

Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"

Do you like Wendy's? When deez nutz are in your mouth.

Why was the chef embarrassed?

He saw the salad dressing.

What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?

They don’t cook because they love eating out.

What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?

Explosion.

Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!

What do you call a boy Panera Bread?

Panera Balls.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because KFC was offering free seeds.

Buy KFC = 1 more orphan in our fryers.

I'm actually against abortion.

Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!

If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?

Fast food.

KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."