Reproduction jokes
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
Official orgasm donor.
Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.
Yeah, your legs.
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
Why can’t Santa have kids?
He only cums once a year.
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
Q: What's the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic? A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete
1+1=3, just add 9 months.
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
Why do squirrels love dick?
Because it produces nut.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.
Girl: What is abortion?
Man: Ask your brother.
Girl: But I don't have a brother!
Man: Exactly!
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.