Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
I thought it would be fun to become a shooter. It became less fun when I realized that "shooting a woman up" also included a condom.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.
The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.
Why do they call it abortion? Because they aborted the mission.
Wanted: Sperm donors. Please come quickly!
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.
Why didn't the wife want sex?
Because they were having too many babies.
Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?
A: See you on the flip side.
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
Where can a male and female rabbit make love at? The rabbit house or the rabbit hole?
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.
