Religion jokes
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
Where does a banana learn to split?
At sundae school!
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
Memes
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.
He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.
What is humble, holy, and helps?
An angle...
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
Why did Jesus play football?
He was Spanish, ayo.
Jesus was the one who created the T pose, not Fortnite.
Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.
I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.
God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
Belief in Egyptian gods is just Ra-ng (wrong). 😁
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"