I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
Religion Jokes
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
How do you know you’re at a gay church?
Half the congregation is kneeling.
Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
People on 1912: This ship is unsinkable, even God himself couldn’t destroy it.
God: Ok, bet, where’s my icebergs?
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
Chuck Norris met God once. Now God is the puny human.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
A child molester and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
