Religion jokes
Why does an orphan go to church?
So it has someone to call father.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
Where does a banana learn to split?
At sundae school!
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
Memes
For some unexplainable reason I instantly though “hmm this sounds like something for dagger”
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
Why do orphans love going to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they have someone to call "Father."
Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
What is humble, holy, and helps?
An angle...
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.
He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
Why did Jesus play football?
He was Spanish, ayo.
Jesus was the one who created the T pose, not Fortnite.
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.