Religion jokes
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
Why do orphans love going to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they have someone to call "Father."
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?
So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
Why does an orphan go to church?
So it has someone to call father.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
Why can’t an orphan go to a youth church? Because they need a parent to pick them up.
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.