Religion jokes
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
Chuck Norris met God once. Now God is the puny human.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
A child molester and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
Why do orphans want to die?
Because they might see their parents in Heaven.
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!
In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To finally call someone father. 😂😂
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
A true God would be godless himself.
How do you kill a Hindu? PRESS THE RED BUTTON.
What do you call a reverse exorcism?
It's where a demon pulls a priest out of a child.