Religion jokes

Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇

Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.

Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?

It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.

What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?

Cheeses Crust!

The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.

He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.

What is humble, holy, and helps?

An angle...

If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.

What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?

They can both flash.

Jesus was the one who created the T pose, not Fortnite.

Why did Jesus play football?

He was Spanish, ayo.

Why can’t an orphan go to a youth church? Because they need a parent to pick them up.

"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."

What's black, white, and red all over?

A nun in a blender.

A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.

Where does a banana learn to split?

At sundae school!

You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.

I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.

God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.

Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.

Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.