Religion jokes
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.
He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.
What is humble, holy, and helps?
An angle...
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
Jesus was the one who created the T pose, not Fortnite.
Why did Jesus play football?
He was Spanish, ayo.
Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they have someone to call "Father."
Why does an orphan go to church?
So it has someone to call father.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
Why do orphans love going to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Why can’t an orphan go to a youth church? Because they need a parent to pick them up.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.