I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
Religion Jokes
The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"
Do y'all love Jesus, God? 🙏❤️
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the picture with just one nail.
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.
Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.
Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.
Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.
Conclusion: Therefore he exists.
Need an arch? I Noah guy.
Meya eats meat all her sins is go off when she eat meat.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Golly.
Golly who?
Godly leave me alone!
If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:
So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
