A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
So I went to a church and I ask a friend is the picture on the wail is Jesus and dose it have three nails or one nails Oh Wait that not Jesus he is not doing the T pose that he invited
Friday's opening is open. Religion: "Dark model?" Hopi, Kahan, Virra, Sayla, Salafa, Sales, Power, Sleep. Google is “that cave”.
Have you seen my uncle?
Jesus: I have.
God: Me too.
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
"When God sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate." -Techno
What do you call someone who is half a Jew?
Jew-ish.
The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
If I tell you, "Jesus is the trickster," am I, or is he?
Lucifer is caged by Jesus, cuz he got tired of being alone on a pedestal.
What if death is hell because there is no bridge to heaven?
Your hairline looks like the stairway to hell.
Bent and far back.
The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!
The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. 😬
