Religion jokes
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
What do you call someone who is half a Jew?
Jew-ish.
Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?
If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:
So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.
It says the truth
What is the definition of suspicion? A: A nun doing squats in a cucumber field.
Why won't an atheist convert to the religion of Islam? Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be a Muslim according to the Arabic religion of Islam.
Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.
How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?
A: They exorcise.
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the picture with just one nail.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.