Religion jokes
The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.
The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
Ganesha is an elephant.
What did Satin say to God??
"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"
Memes
so true lol
Why do orphans love church?
They finally have a father.
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!
I am starting a frog cult now!
Your hairline is so far back it was back on before Jesus Christ was born.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because there they have a father.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.
Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.