Religion jokes
POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.
The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.
my mexican mom be like
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he gets to call someone father.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
Hey kids, are you ready for Faptisim?
What do you call a priest that is a furry?
A Catholic.
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
Bob: Siri, call 666!
*dialing noises*
Bob: Hello?
Bob's dad: Hi!
Q: Why did the islamic chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the airport.
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.
What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?
They said, "Allahu Akbar."
Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?
Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.