What do you call an unemployed Rastafarian?
Jah Bless.
God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.
Why is "T" well-respected, but more in its lowercase form?
It crossed the line with Jesus.
It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely... So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?
Orphan: *Sobs* "No."
God, I love working at an orphanage!
I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.
Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
God said, "Let there be light," and it was lit!
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
"F***, Jesus ate his stinky ass."
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
What was Jesus's favorite food?
Answer: Snails
God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."
Jesus has a twisted humor.
kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.
Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?
