Religion jokes
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.
Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.
Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.
Conclusion: Therefore he exists.
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
Memes
r’amen, brothers
What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the picture with just one nail.
If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.
Your mama is so old, her first Christmas, she was a Wiseman's +1.
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
Your hairline is so far back it was back on before Jesus Christ was born.
All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.
I am starting a frog cult now!