Religion jokes
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
What's the difference between a casino and a church?
You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.
The dear God created the man.
Then he created woman.
When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.