Religion jokes
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of him?
Well, it only takes one nail.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
Allah akbar.
I love bread so much that I might join a bread cult.
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
Hi! Could I join?
Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.
The priest had a very holy shirt.
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "father."
I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.
If I was God, my parents would be anesthetists.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.