Theology jokes
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
What's the difference between Christianity and Scientology?
One is accepted as a cult by most people and the other has most people brainwashed.
In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?
Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
Lucifer is caged by Jesus, cuz he got tired of being alone on a pedestal.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Golly.
Golly who?
Godly leave me alone!
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.
God, aka Mr. Universe said he was God's gift to this earth, but where is he?
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
Jesus was drinking when he made you.
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
Jesus got rejected. A few years later, he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.
If you argued that God was a woman, 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell.
Just to ask the other guy.
Talk about a male supremacist religion.
God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.
Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!
A true God would be godless himself.