Religion jokes

What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?

He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.

Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?

He [is a] goy.

What does the word circumcise mean?

Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.

A pedophile and a priest run a race.

You can’t beat yourself in a race!

Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.

What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One kneels for salvation.

The other kneels with salivation.

What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One is glowing and the other is blowing.

What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One reads, the other breeds.

Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.

Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:

"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"

Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"

Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."

Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."

What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.

"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!

You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.

What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?

5% of atheists have seen a ghost.

5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.

What do you call a priest that likes juice?

A Capriest Sun.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?

The devil always has horns... not just around children.

Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.

God, you’re having a good day?

Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.

What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?

A holy CUMmunion.

The dear God created the man.

Then he created woman.

When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.