What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
Why is a nun called a nun?
'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)
Why do I call my priest daddy?
Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?
Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.
Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."
She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."
Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"
why are people mad at me? all i did was the truth, and put the bible in the fiction section of the library.
If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.
Why do Catholic Irishmen in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saint Patrick's Day?
Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.
A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.
Whats the difference between a jesus and the baby in my basement? Jesus died a virgin
Thank the Lord for my two huge balls!
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.
Electricity.
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
