Religion jokes
So I went to the gym and I found a hymn.
You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.
ICH BIN GOTT.
Yo mama so ugly, when she go to church they say it's a demon!
What happens at the orphanage be like:
The orphans: “HE IS THE MESSIAH!”
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.
Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!
Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
Why did the orphans go to the church?
Because they need someone to call "father."
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
What games do monks play a lot?
Among Us.
What do you call an Islamic LGBT member? A Gaylism.
THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.