Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
HELP! HELP!
TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are da bomb.
Your hairline has a huge path between it, looks like Moses had something to do with it.
That’s why the nickname for your hairline is the Red Sea.
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
What did God say when he created the first black person?
"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"
Why did God create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people and less fun.
Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
First bite: Oh my God!
Second bite: Oh my, God!
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"
