Religion jokes

What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One reads, the other breeds.

Why did Catholic women stop going to church?

Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.

"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!

Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.

Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.

Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.

What is a similarity between priests and doctors?

They both have fetishes for their professions.

Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:

"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"

Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"

Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."

Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.

But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?

He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.

How do you know Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?

What did God say when he made the first black man?

"Crap, I burnt one!"

What’s a priest's favorite sport?

Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.

Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.

I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.

Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.

When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!

The dear God created the man.

Then he created woman.

When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!