Religion jokes

Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.

What does the word circumcise mean?

Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.

How do you know Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?

What’s black and white and red all over?

A crushed nun!

What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?

Slow natives.

What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.

What do priests give children?

Syphilis.

They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?

So I went to the gym and I found a hymn.

What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?

A holy CUMmunion.

You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.

What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?

5% of atheists have seen a ghost.

5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.

What do you call a priest that likes juice?

A Capriest Sun.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?

The devil always has horns... not just around children.

Your mama is so ugly.

The Buddhist monks broke their vow of silence.

Your mama is so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirit.

God, you’re having a good day?

Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of him?

Well, it only takes one nail.

What is a similarity between priests and doctors?

They both have fetishes for their professions.

Allah akbar.

I love bread so much that I might join a bread cult.