My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
Religion Jokes
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
What happens at the orphanage be like:
The orphans: “HE IS THE MESSIAH!”
Yo mama so ugly, when she go to church they say it's a demon!
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.
What games do monks play a lot?
Among Us.
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
What do you call an Islamic LGBT member? A Gaylism.
Why did the orphans go to the church?
Because they need someone to call "father."
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Crap, I burnt one!"
Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
