Religion jokes
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
There are "nun" good jokes.
If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂
According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.
Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?
Rabbi: Fuck the children!
Priest: Do we have time?
How does Moses brew his coffee?
He brews it.
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.
Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.
Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.
Conclusion: Therefore he exists.
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?
A: They exorcise.
Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?
Faithbook!
How are Jews and potatoes different?
A potato keeps its skin.
What does a Right-Winger say when he sees a rainbow above the sky?
"A colorful sky? That's too woke for me. Jesus and our ancestors would have never stood for this!"
Are you a Muslim, because you're the bomb?
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"