Religion jokes
What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the picture with just one nail.
Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
Your mama is so old, her first Christmas, she was a Wiseman's +1.
God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.
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Need an arch? I Noah guy.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Golly.
Golly who?
Godly leave me alone!
If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂
The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
Yo momma so ugly, the Devil started going to church!
Why do orphans go to church?
Why?
To finally call someone "father."
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are da bomb.
Bruh, frog cult is besttttt!
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.