Religion jokes

I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.

What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?

"Nunya business!"

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

What do you call a Muslim bee?

Habibee.

It wasn't Islam that radicalized the terrorists who did 9/11.

Jenga comes to mind, though!

Yo momma so ugly, the Devil started going to church!

What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.

What did God say when he created the first black person?

"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"

Why did God create sex for marriage?

Because he wanted more people and less fun.

Why are you guys making fun of priests?

Because you have a suga daddy already.

Why does the orphan go to church? He needs someone to call father.

Twin monks who ring the church bells died.

Now they are dead ringers. :)

Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?

Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.

Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.

HELP! HELP!

TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!

What's the difference between a God and my mom?

My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

That’s why the nickname for your hairline is the Red Sea.

Your hairline has a huge path between it, looks like Moses had something to do with it.

The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.