Religion jokes
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.
All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.
Your hairline is so far back it was back on before Jesus Christ was born.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because there they have a father.
Your mama is so old, her first Christmas, she was a Wiseman's +1.
so true lol
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.
Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.
The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both want Anthony's neck.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized in the ocean.
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?