A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
Religion Jokes
That’s why the nickname for your hairline is the Red Sea.
Your hairline has a huge path between it, looks like Moses had something to do with it.
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
Bruh, frog cult is besttttt!
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
They don't call priests "daddy," they call me daddy.
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are da bomb.
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
Why do orphans go to church?
Why?
To finally call someone "father."
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
To Drew the Devil,
We NEED to talk RN. I'm very mad at you, and we need to talk.
Angry Alex
P.l.a.n.e.
Precious lord, are nonbelievers evil?
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
