What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
So the Devil decided to go to McDonald's and grab some lunch. What does he get?
A hot and spicy McChicken and three six-piece nuggets.
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.
My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?
Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D
Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?
Me: Call The Police Ka!!!
What does Amogus and Jesus have in common?
They're sus.
You wanna hear a good joke, kiddos?
Gods being real. (Newsflash, all gods are manmade. THEY'RE ALL FICTION!)
Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.
Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.
Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.
Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.
Pastor: You deserve to die.
- I attack
Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.
When is a priest's best compromise?
A failed Baptism.
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
Jesus is what he eats!
Shit!
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
Why was Jesus not good at Basketball?
Because he died in the Cross 😈
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
Jesus has had all the time in the world and all the power in the world to do whatever he wanted.
Guess what he has to show for nothing, but putting us in hell!
Being an absolute waste breathe of life, and of power!
Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!
Your mommy.
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
What do they use in communion when they run out of bread?
Doughnuts, because they're holy.
What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?
I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!
