Religion jokes

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

Why do orphans love church?

They finally have a father.

What did Satin say to God??

"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"

What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

Two nuns in a bathtub.

One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"

The other nun says, "It sure does."

Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?

It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.

According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.

Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?

Rabbi: Fuck the children!

Priest: Do we have time?

When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.

If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!

Meya eats meat all her sins is go off when she eat meat.

Why do orphans go to church so they can call someone "father?"

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"

Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.

Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.

Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.

Conclusion: Therefore he exists.

Need an arch? I Noah guy.

God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.

Your mama is so old, her first Christmas, she was a Wiseman's +1.