Religion jokes
Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."
What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?
Presentation.
Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?
In England, for every church, there are two pubs.
In Poland, for every pub, there are two churches.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.
Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
First bite: Oh my God!
Second bite: Oh my, God!
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?
Goudas.
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.
In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
'cus there was only a stairway to heaven!
I think that church is super burning 🥵.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.