Religion jokes
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
Why does the orphan go to church? He needs someone to call father.
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
Why did God create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people and less fun.
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
Memes
People will bet on everything... ...I mean nothing.
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
HELP! HELP!
TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!
Why do orphans go to church?
Why?
To finally call someone "father."
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
'cus there was only a stairway to heaven!
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.
In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂
I think that church is super burning 🥵.
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"