Religion jokes

Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?

He [is a] goy.

Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.

My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.

Why is the elephant headed God the true God?

Because he doesn't exist!

Where do religious kids practice sports?

In the prayground.

Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?

'cus there was only a stairway to heaven!

Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?

Because it was a good source of mussel mass!

In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.

In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂

Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?

Goudas.

Stephen Hawking said there is no God.

2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.

I think that church is super burning 🥵.

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"

When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?

An AK-BAR 47.

A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"

Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?

A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."

Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"

Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."

Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"