Relationship jokes
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
I like my coffee like my women.
Amateur.
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
What’s worse than finger banging your sister?
Finding your dad’s wedding ring.
Roses are red, violets are blue, she's only red bc she sucked you.
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
Why was the Orphan boy gay?
So he can call someone Daddy.
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.