Relationship

Relationship Jokes

Murder

Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.

Meat

How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?

Put barbecue sauce on it.

Sister

My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.

Parking spot

Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.

If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.

Redhead

How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?

She unlocks the handcuffs.

Mother-in-law

My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.

Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.

Rihanna

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

Incest

What’s worse than finger banging your sister?

Finding your dad’s wedding ring.

Unicycle

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.

Parent

Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

Ash

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

Viagra

What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.

Wife

I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."