What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.
She can't see the obvious.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family portrait.
