Relationship jokes

Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.

I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.

How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?

Put barbecue sauce on it.

I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.

How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?

He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.

What’s worse than finger banging your sister?

Finding your dad’s wedding ring.

Roses are red, Violets are fine, You can be the six, And I can be the nine.

Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"

My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.

It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.

People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.

She can't see the obvious.

Neither of them respect boundaries.

Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.

What is old, cold, and alone?

An orphan's parents.

What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?

The boomerang comes back.

I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

If you know it, you know it.